When I was an adolescent, I could not make any friends due to obesity and feared in engaging conversations with strangers. People either shunned me for my appearance or gave up trying to communicate with me. As I progressed on to secondary school, health-consciousness kicked in and I underwent intensive diet cum exercise regimes. An improved outlook managed to confer me with larger and more social circles. However, the early problem of conversing with strangers still posed some uneasiness to me as I continued to flinch while communicating with people. This obstacle persisted till my Junior College period, when an incident gave me a wake-up call pertaining to my inability to communicate with others.
Being the pioneer batch of Junior College students to embark on the Project Work programme, the main emphasis was on the PowerPoint and oral presentation. After months of preparation, the finale had finally arrived. In a team of five, after my peers finished their presentation, I presented the conclusion of the project. However, due to my anxiety, my body was as stiff as a rod and my speech was periodically stumped. The atmosphere was tense and at that point of time, I knew that I had implicated my team. The expressions on the examiners’ faces displayed their dissatisfaction and there was no applause from anyone after my sloppy performance.
Ever since then, communication became an essential tool for me to express my ideas and feelings. Through the hard way, I learnt that body language plays an important part in conveying my message or emotions. My message to my targeted audience is now clearer and they can grasp the gist of my intention. Moreover, the art of communication bestowed me the confidence of others and a fair maiden’s heart.
Hello! Your last sentence made me laugh! :D It was a cool punch phrase.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I find your post nicely structured as there's a introduction, body and conclusion. As for language, it is simple and easy to comprehend too, which I feel is most important.
Good job! Bye!
If what you wrote in your post is true, I really want to congratulate you on your sucessful transformation. You look perfectly fit to me, and I could connect to you very well during the last group discussion on Fri.
ReplyDeleteYou have also brought up a good point about how poor self image can result in an inability to communicate with others because it affects one's self-esteem and confidence. I think most of the time when I have difficulty conversing with acquaintances, the main culprit is my lack of self-confidence.
(btw, why did you use the word 'adolescent' in the opening sentence when you are refering to before secondary school?) =P
Surprise, surprise... yet another miracle figure transformation story! I, on the other hand, have always been a walking stick figure and am still waiting for my Beyoncé transformation…
ReplyDeleteAnyway! I felt that you brought up a very relevant point; that effective communication does very much depend on how we think the other person perceives us on the surface. Sometimes, in our pursuit for acceptance, we put excessive concern on the other person’s perception of us. When that happens, self-doubt displaces self-confidence, and any effective communication just goes out the window. But at times like this, sometimes I wonder, are we even doing ourselves enough justice?
In addition, I felt that your post very effectively showed the link between confidence and effective communication. In fact, to even begin using body language, we have to first be confident with our bodies, and same goes for many other components that make up effective communication, such as voice, language and depth of argument.
Well, I guess that while bad experiences can be traumatizing (I sure can relate to the PW one!) and can haunt us for life, we can always learn something from them and emerge wiser and stronger (and more charming-I am assuming that that's how you won her heart), like you have! :)
I experienced the same problem when I was in primary school. I had difficulty in making friends. I assume that it was due to my bad social or rather, communication skills as like you, I was shy. I would only talk to people if they break the ice first. And mind you, even those conversations were like how my name sounds- one way; you ask, I answer, you stop asking, I stop talking.
ReplyDeleteThat example on oral presentation was a good one. Naturally your audience were unconvinced as you did not look convinced yourself. Congratulations on having overcome your anxiety! And good job for this well-written post.
Hi Ivan,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly that feeling of being fat and being shunned during younger years. I was one too, conforming to everyone else with low self-confidence. I guess even appearance also affects communication to some extend. What happened to "Never judge a book by its cover"?
Does your girlfriend read this post? You can show her. She would be pleased by the last line. *wink*
Cheers,
Chee Siang
Well, Ivan, you have certainly inspired lots of feedback with this revealing post, and I do see why. As Sheryl termed it, your "miracle figure transformation" story is compelling. It takes quite a bit of courage to even relate the bad experiences, both in childhood and at the JC level, I would guess.
ReplyDeleteI would like to hear more about what communication was like for a kid who was so shunned and then how you achieved the resulting change.
In any case, thank you for this.
Hello Ivan. I can empathise with you on many counts after reading your blog entry. My project presentation in JC similarly didn't go that well also as my anxiety level shot up during my introduction and i stammered alot as a result. But take heart, we usually learn the most from the most despondent of situations, what would life be without experiences good and bad.
ReplyDeleteI have problems communicating with strangers also but i guess you could try smiling whilst approaching the person? That could break the ice and help reduce tension. Just a thought on my part.
cheers,
aldrich
Sarah: Thank you for your reply. I'm glad that my blog post isn't a touch-to-read story. However, I was not able to really add in more fine details but nevertheless, I am happy that you understood what I am trying to put across.
ReplyDeleteXiang Min: Thanks for your compliments. Indeed, my image posed me lots of problems in the past such as difficulty trying to communicate with others or even the basic privilege of been treated as a human being (Sounds very exaggerated but been called a ‘pig’ for many years make me feel less than human). I am glad that I was able to hit it off well with you during the tutorial sessions. I was trying to make myself sound like I matured faster than my actual age.
Sheryl: Ha-ha, thanks for your reply! I have to agree that perception is something that affects one’s ability to communicate. Over-emphasis of physical appearance is a norm in the society, but sad to say it becomes one of the barriers for many less-than-appealing people who cannot connect with people as easily as those glamorous hunks or babes. The PW experience is something that I will never want to go through again and that is why I take on this module, to improve further on my communication skills. Well, I am not sure which part of me is my girlfriend attracted to, hopefully it is not my looks. That will be too superficial.
Wan Wei: Oh my, you just made me realize that I used to be a ‘telegraphic’ communicator, only responding when others prompted me and never engage in dynamic conversations. Thanks for your compliments and I hope that we can all overcome our fears and barriers in communicative skills.
Chee Siang: Hello there Chee Siang! Give me a five! The phrase “Never judge a book by its cover” must be either thought by a person with inferiority complex or a sentence merely to comfort the souls of the shunned. I must with you, Xiang Min and Sheryl that physical appearance inevitably affects self-esteem. This makes us less confident and of course, which audience will be awed by a speaker without confidence? By the way, I am sure my girlfriend is reading my blog, somehow, somewhere. Thank you for your comments.
B.B. Sensei: Yes Sensei. I guess the only way to reach to the hearts of many is to relate myself to what others will commonly encounter. I will come up with another blog post for the viewing of those that are interested to know what process I underwent to achieve what I have today. Thank you for your appraisal Sensei.
Aldrich: Hello Aldrich! Thanks for your empathy. I guess many people do encounter this PW encounter, especially when we are not trained well in our JC times in terms of presentation and communication skills. Thanks for your suggestion. I think carrying a smile while approaching a person will be a great way to break the ice and engage a conversation. I will bear that in mind.