What communication was like for me when I was shunned for my zero appeal appearance

I mentioned in my previous blog about how obesity deprived me of friends and confidence to converse with others. It was because of my puffy figure that made others thought of me as the ‘Stay Puft Marshmallow Man’ in ‘Ghostbusters’. Moreover, many could not communicate with me when I simply kept quiet most of the time. Empathy and vivid re-enactment for those with a similar past of mine, but for the others that grew up in style and were well-liked by many, ever wonder what life is like as an ugly duckling?

I was a mere 1.4 metres tall boy with a weight of 60 kilograms, which I am also weighing at the present moment. Even joining the Trim-and-fit club, a compulsory programme for obese children to exercise and eat healthily, did not help much as I grew larger everyday. In the end, I was asked to leave the club because mine was labeled as an unsalvageable case. Since I did not look as average-sized as my peers, I felt alienated and wanted to be solemn. The only friend I made, still my current best friend, was a boy that sat beside me for the whole 6 years of my primary school life. I felt that I was in my comfort zone only when I was with him. Anyone else would pose a ‘threat’ to me such that I would not feel comfortable talking or even looking at him/her in his/her eyes. Most of the time, my communication with others was either a short phrase or a nod for acknowledgement. At that time, handphones were not common for schoolchildren till I was in Secondary 4 and the Internet was not as accessible as now. Thus, my opportunity to reach out to others beyond my comfort zone was virtually ‘mission impossible’ and I felt helpless about it.